The Art Job
by Lemon Icee
Summary: The crew takes a job of a higher caliber: art smuggling.


**Author's Note: **I found this on my computer and kind of liked it (I don't remember writing it!), so I am posting it now and I hope I can update it soon! Enjoy!

"The place," Mal stated in his most Captainly voice, "is Demeter. A smallish planet, mostly outta Alliance's way but even so a might tricky, got its fair share a' military and the like, so everyone needs to be on their toes." He looked around in a semi-menacing manner at the crew, seated on the various couches and chairs in the galley.

"Now this deal ain't in any way solid, so I got a real need for things to go smooth. If we can pull it off, we got money enough to fix the ship up some and buy us all somethin' pretty. So we all gotta do some of the work here, I'll have nobody seeing the sights down there, charming as the place admittedly is."

"Aw, Cap," Kaylee moaned up at him from her seat perched on the edge of a stool, "I hear Demeter's got all kinds of things to see, it's supposed to be real, you know, romantic." Mal watched as she shot a furtive yet pointed glance at Simon's direction. The young doctor was sitting at the booth, staring up in Mal's general direction with unfocused eyes. He'd been real tired-looking lately. Mal shrugged this whole situation off.

"Sorry _mei-mei_, things is gotta get done. You know you got some responsibilities your own self, I don't need telling you what they are."

"What exactly is this job we're belaying the fun for?" Wash asked, raising his hand tentatively as Kaylee pouted a little.

"Well now there's the interesting part," Mal's eyes lit up. "What we got ourselves doing, hopefully, is smuggling some art."

"Art?" Inara asked skeptically.

"Classy, ain't it?" Mal grinned. "Makes us feel like a damn fancy bunch of criminals."

"Why does art need to be smuggled?" Simon asked, apparently checking into the conversation at last.

"Well, cause its stolen art. Been stolen for a couple months now and difficult to explain if it gets to the wrong hands too quick. So our job is to get it from the hands that took it, to the hands that'll buy it no questions asked, which happen to belong to a fine gentleman on Persephone."

"Where's the money in it?" Jayne, always with a head for business, raised a thick arm in the air.

"Well as it stands we're set to get 20% of whatever the pieces go for, but here is the complicated bit. See, I got no clue what this art is worth. Zoe don't, and unless Jayne's been keepin' a secret Art History degree from us I'm guessin' he's not gonna be a real help in this department. So we're gonna need someone to come along on the deal to make sure we're not gettin' made_ bai chi_."

Inara shook her head. "No, Mal, I'm not going to accompany you, you can't ask me-"

"I weren't talking about you," Mal cut her off, looking intently at River.

Simon really must have been out of it because it took him a full minute to realize Mal's intentions, and then another thirty seconds to work up the proper amount of righteous indignation.

"Wha-, no! No, you are not taking River, you are, she's," his words came tumbling out incoherently before Mal raised a hand to stop them.

"Sorry Doc, I'm in no mood to discuss. This ain't a dangerous job, just she has that somewhat creepifying and oh-so-useful ability to tell what people's thinkin', which would be a great boon to our endeavors this time around." He smiled at the doctor's exhausted anger. "Don't you fret. This here is art thievery, it's of a sort of higher caliber." He raised his hand in the air to demonstrate the height of the caliber. "No guns, I can guarantee you that."

Simon looked pointedly at Mal's belt, which still contained a small pistol concealed by his long coat.

"No guns but ours." Mal said with a shrug.

* * *

Demeter bustled below as Serenity came to docking, landing smoothly in bay 12-D. Everyone was clear on their duties: Mal, Zoe, Jayne and River would meet Mr. Petra the art thief over at his warehouse; Inara was seeing a client in one of the more affluent neighborhoods of the central mall; Kaylee, Simon, Book and Wash were to get various supplies including parts, groceries and meds. The cargo door opened slowly and Mal gave the shopping crew one last hard look.

Kaylee rolled her eyes. "Don't worry cap, we'll stick to business right enough," she said glumly.

"See to it you do!" Mal called at her as she and the rest started walking towards the market. Kaylee shrugged her large empty rucksack more comfortably onto her shoulder and pouted as the group made their way towards the heart of the city.

The market was overcrowded with swarming shoppers and overzealous salespeople. Standing on the fringe of the melee, Kaylee and the boys scanned the area for needed provisions, low prices, sellers that looked like suckers.

"Well then Shepard, I guess it's time for you and me to get shopping!" Said Wash loudly, clapping Book roughly on the shoulder. Kaylee and Simon looked over at the pilot curiously. Wash returned the look.

"What? Oh you thought you guys were coming too?" He laughed. "Oh no, no the stressful buying and haggling and carrying lots of heavy crap sort of fun is reserved for adults." He yanked the rucksack out of Kaylee's hands. "Sorry but you kids better find something else to do. There was a cafe a couple blocks back, looked pretty terrible, why don't you two go there."

Kaylee and Simon stared at him in wonder. "But…"

"Get going!" Wash shooed them off with his hand. "Kid's today," he said to Book with a shake of his head. Kaylee ran off with Simon, turning back once to blow a big kiss to Wash with two hands. He caught it, pocketed it and then turned back to the dreadful task at hand.


End file.
